Stories

  • Invisible Ink
    There are moments that time slows down and the universe asks you to think very very carefully about what you say next. When I was younger I just tossed off clever ripostes – I never thought about the landing only the launching
  • That Empty Space
    Yeah, I really- I really miss her. There’s nobody. Nobody like her.”
  • On a Friend, Unmade
    Dear Sophia: I have a private client, a lovely woman who travels a lot …

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  • The Introvert Seat
    Dear Sophia: It used to be that no matter who they were or where …

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  • The Snacks are Great
    So, I fired up the Spotify, got the Wiggles on and played the Hokey Pokey really loud. Everyone in the intersection, including me, stopped what we were doing and did the hokey pokey. With masks and smiling eyes. I got in my car and drove on to pick up other riders.
  • Fiction Writer
    “Leave it to me” I said flooring it “I’m basically a traffic superhero”. I was bragging – it was a dark, rainy Monday and no one was around anyway.
  • Some guys are just charming as hell
    This one fellow gets into the car early Sunday morning. Very flirty, very cute. Chatting me up, I imagine just for the sport of it. Just because he can. Practice even. Let’s call him Sonny.
  • 2 Degrees
    Of the process I went through analysing all the different countries I could possibly move to. About my spreadsheet and the quality of life analysis that I spent quite a lot of time researching like a big weirdo nerd.
  • Nothing happens in Oamaru
    He said “Ask me about my wildest night out” I did and then “In Oamaru?” My voice rising slightly at the end.
  • Getting clarity – Part 1 – Go Ask Alice
    “Still going” she said “I need to do a quick change and head out again – and like a movie star starts zhuzzing herself in the back seat. She had long, blonde hair and she was wearing a headband. Her name was Alice.
  • A Tinder Date
    Dear Sophia: I picked up a nice fellow today from the Sylvia Park dining …

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  • The Whole Truth
    Dear Sophia: I thought he wanted the whole woman, but he was only after …

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  • Just down the street
    They were a little bit over the line towards elderly and had clearly had a good day out.
  • Crux
    She launched into unfaltering Hebrew. In New Plymouth. I was pretty gobsmacked.
  • Puff
    All he said was “This was scarier”
  • Hiccups
    I went driving tonight and picked up a really drunk guy in Courtney Place, ground zero for Wellington party culture.
  • You Cannot be Sirius.
    I went out driving tonight and to say that it’s been surreal is somewhat of an understatement. Lots of people out and about and the area is huge, so some long rides, some short rides and a lot of bogan types high-beamin’ me to go faster.
  • The Loneliest Uber Driver
    I was shaking, but didn’t know why. He was an ideal rider and paid quite a lot of money for that ride. What was my problem?
  • Home Slice
    So I was delighted on one Sunday morning,early afternoon when I picked up a lovely, very chilled out looking woman with the most gorgeous shades of blue in her hair.
  • Pandemic Flight
    She has the most interesting story. And I said,”Tell me?”
  • Sunday morning
    He was blond, blue-eyed, bearded – about thirty maybe – in short, a Pakeha jeebus.
  • Kinder
    Jacinda tells us to “Be Kind” Tea Towels, T shirts, Bags, Facebook memes, Cinderella – all exhort us to “Be Kind”
  • Underpants
    My days without underpants are charting really, really well.
  • When Life hands you Niueans you’d best make Tikihi
    Mrs. Betty Tasmania’s Tikihi recipe:
  • The tap is always on
    It’s nuts to launch a website during a global pandemic.
  • Once you’re grown up you can’t come back.
    “Have fun storming the castle” I yelled, mixing fairy tales.
  • 12 Minutes
    If you are willing to listen you can learn a lot in 12 minutes.
  • Snip
    She is a sexy, blonde, badass West Aucklander and she wanted me to take her husband, who I hadn’t met, to the clinic.
  • A love song for Aotearoa
    Thank you for calling out to me Aotearoa.
  • Brigadoon
    Happy New Year Sophia
  • Tiny Dancer
    Dear Sophia: It was early Saturday morning and when I stopped to pick up …

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  • Toothy
    I laughed as they waved me through
  • The C word
    It was Crate Day, the New Zealand holiday – every year held on the first Saturday of December. Participants are encouraged to drink a whole crate of beer.
  • A lil’ bit MAGA
    He laughed and said “I do a lot of things different. Do you know that I was the first person to fly an American flag after 9/11?” 
  • Some Character
    It was that time of night where you make most of your bad decisions and none of your best.
  • A Time Out
    “You must think I’m a nut” she said
  • You can’t get there from here
    “I’m not going to get charged am I?” I replied “for a trip to Spain? From New Zealand? No.
  • A New York Troika
    “And what was your most memorable experience in New York?
  • All I got is this photograph and I realise you’re not coming back anymore.*
    “So my mom never tells me not to do drugs – she tells me all about the drugs that she did in the 1980s.”
  • Re-frame
    She said self-deprecatingly “Oh, I’m just an Administrative Assistant”
  • Captain Pinchy to the Rescue
    I wrote to them and I said, “Look, I said this guy needs to be informed of what the real rule is and he also needs to be spoken to because actually, you’ve got a vigilante and that was fairly unnerving.
  • Politipus
    She’s someone’s Nana, in New Zealand and I’m hearing American propaganda. It is very fucking disturbing.
  • Diva
    It was very hot, and a very busy day in UberLand
  • Nourish
    We started talking and she asked me about my family – so far away.