green haired woman eating pizza

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Dear Sophia

I’m such a fan of the pastel hair trend. I love mermaid hair. So I was delighted on one Sunday, early afternoon when I picked up a lovely, very chilled out looking woman with the most gorgeous shades of blue in her hair. She got in the car and I asked “late night?” She says, yeah, well just finishing it now. I said “are you headed home now? Did you have a good time?” She said, “yeah, that was a great night.”

So we are chatting and for some reason mostly about pizza, probably because it’s good drunk/hangover food. We start talking about Sal’s pizza, which is the American place here, and I’m a very big fan. And my lovely blue-haired woman says she’s the biggest fan of pizza, much bigger than me.

It’s now a competitive situation. I said, “how can you be a bigger fan than me?

She said, “Do you have a tattoo of a pizza slice on your bottom?”

I said, “No, no, I do not.”

She said “well, I do.”

She said “I’ve often thought that I should be the mascot for Sal’s.” I said, “well, you could send them a picture of your tattoo, but if it’s on your bottom, I feel like you need to give them the heads up that its on its way to them or else your emails will keep getting marked as p*rn.”

She says definitely. So we started hypothesising on what a campaign featuring her pizza butt tattoo might look like for Sal’s pizza and how we might approach them so that she could become the spokes-bottom for Sal’s pizza. I was dreaming of free pizza, and of course bragging rights for knowing the spokes-bottom, indeed encouraging her.

As a side note, she did mention that it took a lot of talking it through with the tattoo artist. One has to consider how much cheese is on the slice, the angle of the slice, the size of this slice, what else is going to be on the pizza and so on.

Before you ask, I did not see the tattoo. However, it was a delightful interlude. Of course I had pizza for dinner. I am so suggestible.